I arrived at this decision the same way that i arrived at the decision to be at the university of mobile. the same way i realized that i would go to Russia this summer.
I woke up one day, and realized i'd been running from a decision for a long time and i knew exactly what i had to do.
I adore theater. I absolutely adore it. I want it to always be a part of my life.
But i cant ignore the part of me that has stumbled past my guitar on the way to my 8:00 class every morning thinking "one day, i'll play you... my sweet guitar..." or the part of me that misses being a part of a Jesus community.
With parents in full time ministry since before i was born, I've grown up within those proverbial church walls. Crawled under pews during services, sang solos in the Christmas play... filled in for sunday school teachers, etc. I've seen a lot of amazing things come out of the church. I've been there when everything in the world was waiting for just that moment. and the sky was exploding in color and the grass was green and everything smelled alive and like community and the big togetherness of what happens when people love God and God loves them and they all get together and talk about it. when people fall in love with God and act like they're engaged. "well yesterday God said this... and last week i told God that... " It's like newly weds and people are just practically gushing with love. The kind of love that makes you giggle and feel very solemn all at once.
I've seen the green great aliveness of God and people together that is the Church.
But the church has not always been kind to me.
I've seen the backstabbing, I've seen the false prophets and I have wished that Jeremiah was still around to talk about it. I've had lies spoken over me in the name of Jesus Christ and i've watched marriages break, family structures collapse, money stole, abuse, fear, control etc. I've seen what happens when the people of God believe a lie and are caught in their pride.
And it hurts worse when we remember the Big aliveness of God community. Because we long for, we know what it should be like.
And so i go into my Worship Leadership major, having no idea what God has in store for me, only that he's called me to write and sing and ocasionally direct musicals and be in musicals and sing some more and play my ukulele and be a part of this big wonderful community that is His Church and His Bride.
all i have to say is, Amen to this big adventure.