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Workstudy in the computer lab.. reflections on commuting

It isn't that i hate commuting, i just hate not being where the people are. In the morning it's nice, because i can be as loud as i want in my car and i won't bother anyone. At night though i just want to call every single person i know and talk to them. Last night i drove around the circle (our whole campus can fit itself around this giant one-way circle) 3 times just looking for people to say hey to, and then i did see people but they were in a big group talking and laughing and i pictured myself awkwardly pulling up my car trying to get in on the joke and... decided against it. I called Christian and Jordan and looked through my text messages trying to weigh in my mind who would be annoyed or think i was clingy if i called them. I just really love people. i would want to hang out even if i hadn't slept or eaten for 5 days. I could live on air and conversation.

So that's what stinks about commuting.

What's nice about it are the two boiled eggs and cup of tea i have for breakfast every morning, and the fact that when i have to perform a song in a day i can ask my dad to play the melody line and then listen to the recording of it on my phone for an hour before i have to show my face in pubic. I am also forced to practice piano because now i live in a house of piano players. including my 12 year old brother who's better at piano than i am. Stinkin Searcy.

I don't know why i wrote this blog entry, except it has helped me procrastinate and ramble about commuting.

the million dollar idea.

two things i know about myself

1. i don't do things halfway

2. i am a wimp

So I've been convicted about the money i waste. I just paid off my first student loan and lately i've just had such a heart for being a wise steward of my finances. In light of this, i realized how much money i waste on clothes.

So i've decided i want to do something drastic (see point 1.)

but there's the other half, which means i might chicken out (see point 2.)

so i've devised a plan.

perhaps if i PUBLISH my plan on my blog, i will feel obligated to go through with it even when it gets rough.

okay are you ready for the plan?

here goes.

I will not buy clothes during this entire school year.

whew.

alright, here goes nothing but a whole lot of saving and a whole lot of fun.

mal

a little diddy

Mally Renee

has lots to say

but where to begin

the mouth, or the pen?

Slumber - needtobreathe

Days; they force you back under those covers,
lazy mornings; they multiply,
glory's waiting outside your windows.
Wake on up from your slumber, baby open up your eyes.

Tongues are violent, personal and focused,
tough to be with your steady mind,
hearts are stronger after broken.
Wake on up from your slumber, baby open up your eyes.

All these victims stand in line for,
crumbs that fall from the table just enough to get by,
all the while your invitation.
Wake on up from your slumber, baby open up your eyes.
Wake on up from your slumber, baby open up your eyes.

Take from vandals all you want now,
please don't trade it in for life,
replaced your feeble with the fable.
Wake on up from your slumber, baby open up your eyes.
Wake on up from your slumber, baby open up your eyes.

All these victims stand in line for,
crumbs that fall from the table just enough to get by,
all the while your invitation.
Wake on up from your slumber, baby open up your eyes.
Wake on up from your slumber, baby open up your eyes.

Sing like we used to,
dance when you want to,
taste for the breakthrough open wide.

All these victims stand in line for,
crumbs that fall from the table just enough to get by,
all the while your invitation.
Wake on up from your slumber, baby open up your eyes.
Wake on up from your slumber, baby open up your eyes.
Wake on up from your slumber, baby open up your eyes.

Karate Practice: a lesson in listening.

this summer many people have expressed their frustration getting kids to listen, to pay attention. As a Children's Director at my church, countless times teachers have seemed daunted by the sea of children who do not care for what they're saying. At least with adults, when they don't listen to sermons they turn inwards and day dream. you KNOW when a kid isn't giving you the time of day.

You see the blank expressions from the 7 year olds, the 4th grade boys snickering. you stand there scared to death. How do I make them listen?

And it's simple really, you must listen to them. So many times we've succumbed to the belief that children should be made to pay attention to us. But Children are like adults- if there's no relationship, they aren't going to pay attention. They need to believe that you are FOR them. So many times we talk down to children, belittle their triumphs and failures. We must appreciate the value that they see in situations. A hurt finger is very much a crisis. Your bandaid is not merely to make them stop crying, it is to show them that you are a source of COMFORT. You are safe. Likewise, when they want to tell you a story about their cat, you need to hear the story. They will not care for you if from the outset you have not taken them seriously. Children do not like to be made to feel that they are inadequate because you are capable of things they are not. So many time we think we can talk over their heads when they're in the room, or pat their face and say 'isn't she just the smartest little thing?"

there is danger in not seeing the hopes and a dreams of a child as being of the utmost importance.

It is from that platform that i would present the gospel to Children. Not with rote facts for them to memorize and understand when they're older- but with language and understanding that says "you are greatly loved by your creator, and you are capable of receiving that."

Last night a group of my friends were eating ice cream at a little place downtown and beside us was a little girl there with her family. Very seriously she practiced her Karate steps a few feet away from us, making that we were paying attention. to laugh at her punches in the air would have been terribly detrimental. One of the guys got up and asked if he could do the punches too, and if she could beat him at karate. She loved it. But she felt as if we took her very seriously.

It's not that children aren't adorable- they are. but they will not listen to us unless they feel that we take their karate practice, ballet lessons, and the butterfly they found outside as very serious things indeed.

I get the feeling had Jesus seen her practicing her Karate, he would have watched and encouraged her with great enthusiasm. Just as he encourages all of us with our little triumphs and failures every day, whether we are 8 or 80.

Sailors.

let's be sailors. let's get on a boat

so big it swallows up my mind. stand on the bow of a steady hand

with a dip and a wave and a toss of a spray and a wish that won't be denied

i'll ride the wind to the nearest dream and give my heart to the sky.

oh let's be sailors.

the sea doesn't remember me.

and the land has such cold cut memories

ancient trees whisper my history

and somebody home is telling

my story with a shake of a head

so cold, so choking in it's clarity.

let's be sailors.

with a sail so full it fills up my soul. like the wind on a cloudy day.

fill up my eyes with horizon till there's no room for tears.

let's be sailors. with nothing but good plain honest fears.

to pray to God when storms arise, a cry and a desperate plea.

oh if i were a sailor, and my heart knew only the sea.