Vagueism

This is my new slang word. Hope it catches on:

VAGUEISM

(see also Vagueing, vaguer)

(n) That word or group of words which doesn't exactly answer a question but certainly leaves enough room either way to give the speaker a bailout and the listener hope for a bright future by their side.

You know that time, when you spent all day hanging out with that one girl and you thought you'd made a friend, she was really sweet right? and you seemed to have everything in common.

You: Let's go get coffee sometime!

Her: i love coffee!

VAGUER (n)

the person or persons who tactfully avoid awkward rejections.

Him: we should get together and study for that test!

Her: Oh man, i almost never study.

Her's friend at study party: That girl is such vaguer.

VAGUEING (v)

The act of avoiding awkward situations

I told him the shirt was nice, which it WAS night, but i didn't like it, i was sorta vagueing.

VAGUEISM

Note: Her love for coffee is not implicitly stating that she would like to have coffee with you.

True story.

Stupid Kiwi (or) How to Stay Healthy in College

Avery and my personal experiences with that classic Fruit-for-breakfast-on-the-way-to-800-class Dilemma that we find ourselves in. I wonder why it is we try new things on the way to class?

The Attempts:

Strike One: Prepeel the Kiwi.

Outcome: Sticky Fail, can I be excused to wash my hands before I take this test? thanks.

Strike Two: Prepeel and SLICE the Kiwi. Bring spoon.

Outcome: Again with the Sticky fail (inadequate paper towl preparation) and now I have a spoon with me in every class.

Strike Three: Mangos. Turns out I'm allergic to the skin. I never knew this, because i never ate the skin until i was running to class.

Outcome: turns out permanent retainers are completely invisible unless you're trying to de-mango your mouth. This stuff turns into string when not properly sliced. lesson learned.

Conclusions on these attempts are as follows:

stick to granola bars and oranges. Stay away from the "dangerous" fruits.

That is all.

love,

Mallory

(inspired by the suffering of Avery on the way to class)